Only In China

In honor of the Beijing Olympics (which has been keeping me up late for the past few weeks), I am posting an old blog entry from my time in China 3 years ago. Enjoy!

Things Seen in China and not the U.S.:

1. Babies’ bottoms hanging out of bottomless clothing…and also, babies and small children peeing on the street, in the park, inside tourist attractions.
2. Blatant disregard for traffic laws…you put your life on the line each time you cross the street. But in defense of Chinese drivers, they do have incredibly fast reflexes; they can stop on a dime.
3. Scorpions, pigeon fetuses, and other mystery meat on a stick.
4. Military-like line ups of uniformed employees outside of restaurants and stores at shift changes.
5. Hawking and spitting like nowhere else (even by women, even on the subway train).

Things I will miss about China:

1. Karaoke!
2. The “movie star treatment”… being asked numerous times at each tourist attraction to pose for photos with Chinese people.
3. The Silk Market… even the pushy salespeople (“Lady! Lady! Looky! Looky! You like silk scarf?”).
4. Ice cream pop and popsicle stands on every corner.
5. The most adorable children ever.
6. Taxi rides that make you feel like you are in a video game.
7. Chinese people who are thrilled to practice their English with you.

Things I will not miss about China:

1. The never-ending spitting and nose-picking, any time, any place.
2. The nose-assaulting smells that punch you in the face every few minutes.
3. “Squatty-potties” and wastebaskets for used toilet paper, plus the overwhelming stench that accompanies all bathrooms.
4. Not being able to read anything (now I know a bit how it feels like to be illiterate).
5. The pushing and shoving at tourist attractions and on the subway. The lack of the concept of “a line”.
6. Ordering chicken and getting only the feet and some gristly bones.
7. Cabbies who don’t want to give you a ride.

It's Not As Easy As It Looks

The stars aligned this weekend enabling me to spend 5 or 6 hours with my brother, Brad, and my youngest sister, Gwen, in downtown Richmond, Virginia. The best thing about meeting up with Brad is that he always has really fun ideas of things to check out around town. And Gwen and I are usually willing to follow Brad anywhere.
The big idea on this visit was to rent Segways and tour around downtown Richmond. We quickly agreed to this plan and got a good laugh recalling our president's misfortune on a Segway--namely falling off of one, despite the said impossibility of doing so. We were quite confident in ourselves as we strolled into the Segway shop.
I was the first to volunteer to be trained. Much to my surprise, I was really unstable and jerky the moment I stepped on the high-tech machine. Buck, the shop owner, told me to "trust the Segway" and had me ooching up and down ramps and spinning in circles in minutes. Brad and Gwen were having giggle fits at my expense. I was definitely having second thoughts about this; and I totally understood why we were required to wear helmets.
Gwen was next to train and, of course, she was jerky and spazzy too. Brad, got on and seemed entirely too tall for the machine; if he fell, he was going to travel quite a ways before meeting the ground.
Apparently, we all passed training ala Buck, and he set us loose on the streets of Richmond. Our first challenge came a half a block down when we had to cross the cobblestone street. Whoa! Easy does it...

Soon we were zooming along the Canal Walk, trying to avoid taking a swim with the Segways. Within ten minutes, all three of us were feeling pretty comfortable. We were even snapping photos while riding. People were stopping, pointing, and gawking--I guess Segways are still pretty novel in some areas, or maybe we just looked really dorky and laughable (which is definitely a possibility on a Segway).

We visited the governor's mansion, where Gwen quite literally almost ran into the Governor and his motorcade coming down the driveway. I'm surprised we didn't get tackled by the secret police... or maybe that just happens in D.C. with the prez.
Things were going great, we were having a ball and getting our speed up when we realized we had to return the Segways in five minutes. To do this, we had to take a short cut through a gravel parking lot to get back to the Canal Walk. Well, I guess Segways and gravel aren't meant to mix, because as soon as Gwen hit a tire rut in the gravel, the wheels of her Segway stopped and she was bucked right off. I had the benefit of being behind her (with my camera in hand) to enjoy and capture the show. Besides a scratched-up leg, Gwen only suffered a bit of embarrassment. While I tried to stop laughing, Brad came back and helped Gwen get back on the Segway (which recovered nicely from the mishap, righting itself immediately, and wondering what happened to its passenger). We were able to get back to the Segway shop on time, and with no more mishaps along the way.

So, here's to George Bush, who gained a fleeting moment of respect from me this weekend. The Segway is a bit tricky at first, and apparently, it doesn't take a complete nincompoop to fall off of one.